Lawyer: Would you please tell the court why did you shoot your husband with bow and arrow?
Wife: I didn’t want to wake up the children and the neighbors.

A farmer’s horse kicked the farmer’s mother-in-law to death. A large crowd, mostly men, turned out for the funeral. The priest remarked that the old lady must have been highly popular. An onlooker replied that most of the men were there to buy the horse. ;>

There was once a young Pinay who used dynamite for a phallus…
They found her pussy in Batanes and part of her asshole in Jolo. Hehehe…

May isng baliw,cnma ng knyang doktor s tulay ng ilog pasig upng sbukan kung mgling na,nkkta cla ng nlu2n0d agd n cngip ng bliw ang nlu2n0d tpos tnali s leeg at cnbit s 2lay.
Dok:bkit m tnli s leeg dpat mawt to mawt rcetati0n ang gnwa m0,
baliw:dok kylangan ptiktikan q muna kc bsang bsa cia.

BOY: Bakit hindi ka inabot ng isang linggo kina pare?
JUAN: 1st day ko dun, natalo ang manok niya sa
sabong, tinola ang ulam namin.
2nd day, pinatay ang baboy, lechon ang ulam namin.
3rd day, pinatay ang kambing, kaldereta ang
ulam namin.
4th day namatay ang
lolo ni pare, kaya umuwi na agad ako. :-(

A TRUE SCARY S2RY
May 1ng magsyota n kasali s 1ng m0untaineering grup.
Isng arw,hbng nsa cmping ang grupo ay knailangan ng ba2e n maiwn s base cmp dhl s slyt injuri s ktwn. N2loy ang grupo s pgakyat ksma ang knyng bf at naiwn xng mg1 dun. Umb0t ng 5 arw bgo mkblk ang grpo at […]

IDOT: Kamusta n? Long time no see ah?
BINO: Karating ko lng galing Africa.
IDOT: Africa?
BONI: Dun kami nadestino.
IDOT: Hindi b maraming cannibals dun?
BONI: Nak2takot nga pero mga edukado n ngaun sila.
IDOT: Hindi n b cla kumakain ng tao?
IDOT: Nangangain p rin ng tao pero gumagamit n cla ng kutsara.

The late showbiz personality, Inday Badiday, once asked a starlet… “Kamusta libing ng mother mo?”
Starlet: Successful naman po.ü