TxtBuff » Funny

Text Message #6666: Laugh is

dirtyoldman — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 00:33:44 +0000

LAUGH IS…

daw gamitin sabi ni mam para madaling mabura…

Text Message #6665: The word “politics”

dirtyoldman — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 00:33:12 +0000

Only in Pinas…

do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well.

‘Poli’ in Latin means ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures.”

Text Message #6664: 6 pack abs from belly dancing

dirtyoldman — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 00:32:25 +0000

ANAK: Tay! tignan mo abs ko! 6 pack yan, tay!

TATAY: wow! machong macho na anak ko ah! pano mo nagawa yan, nak?

ANAK: belly dancing, tay! :$

Text Message #6658: Buti pa ang saging, may puso

dirtyoldman — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 01:23:13 +0000

Binagsak ng teacher…

Student: buti pa ang saging, may puso! Pero ikaw sir, wala!

Teacher: aba kung ganyanan lang eh, buti pa ang bulalo may utak, ikaw wala.

Text Message #6657: PGMA postage stamps defective

dirtyoldman — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 01:22:39 +0000

Newly issued PGMA postage stamps by Phil. Post was found to be defective. After an investigation the postal authorities found the stamp is OK, but people just spit on the wrong side of the stamp.

Text Message #6650: Di mo na ako iniisip pag nalalasing ka

dirtyoldman — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 00:51:53 +0000

MRS: Ang hirap sa yo,di mo na ako iniisip pag nalalasing ka.

MR: Hoy,di totoo yan,ha! (hik!) Katunayan, kanina ko pa
iniisip kung anong pangalan mo (hik!).

Text Message #6649: Senior Citizen’s T-shirt

dirtyoldman — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 00:50:05 +0000

THINK POSITIVE:

Senior Citizen’s T-shirt reads:

“I am not 60,
I am 18
with 42 years of Experience!”

Now, that’s attitude!
Think positive! =)

Text Message #6648: Invite senior citizens sa Home of the Aged

dirtyoldman — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 00:48:22 +0000

Aling Dionisia: Manny, kailangan mag-invita tayo ng mga 270 senior citizens sa Home of the Aged.
Manny: para saan? At bakit ang dami?
Aling Dionisia: para mabuo ko ang 60treasures, 60roses, 60candles, 6oenvelopes at 60toasts sa birthday party ko…
Manny: nyeh! :-/

Text Message #6647: Presidente..alis ng alis

dirtyoldman — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 00:47:34 +0000

“ang hirap daw s ating presidente..alis ng alis…uwi rin naman ng uwi!”

Text Message #6641: A gay coaching a basketball team

dirtyoldman — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 01:30:32 +0000

_imagine a gay coaching a basketball team_”keber s mga chakang julaban, just focus. We cannot aford 2 luz valdez. Getlakin nio ung last free throw. Windangin ung mga chenes n julaban. Kailangan malorka cla ha! Kabugin ang mga itey! Go 4 d goldilacks 2 d highest level mga chorva! Shala tau compard s knla.Gowlalu mga frendships! Make ur mama proud! O tara, grup hug na!”
hehe

Text Message #6639: Characteristics of Presidentiables

dirtyoldman — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 01:27:12 +0000

Characteristics of Presidentiables:

CHIZ- doble kara
VILLAR- doble kalye
ERAP- doble hirap
MAR & JAMBY- double gender
LOREN- double lover
PING- double murder?

Text Message #6631: Miss kita

dirtyoldman — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 02:35:06 +0000

“MISS KITA”

Ang sabi ng lalaki sa babaeng naka-mini skirt na kita na ang underwear..hehehe

Text Message #6629: Show gratitude for what is left behind

dirtyoldman — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 02:32:31 +0000

“This country should not show hatred over what is stolen, but instead show gratitude for what is left behind…”

-GMA & Family.

Text Message #6622: When a doctor orders laboratory tests

dirtyoldman — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 00:05:08 +0000

When a doc orders laboratory tests for you, what he really meant was, “I own a 50% interest in the medical lab that just opened across the street.” :-)

Text Message #6619: We forgot the keys downstairs

dirtyoldman — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 00:03:32 +0000

Loi & Erap take d only room available on d 100th floor of a hotel. The elevators were busted, so they took d stairs.
At the 10th flr, Erap tells Loi he has somethng to tell her.
“Tell me upstairs” says Loi.
When they reached d 100th flr, Loi finally asked what Erap wanted to say:
“We forgot the keys downstairs.”

Text Message #6618: Nalunok ang lapis

dirtyoldman — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 00:03:04 +0000

Misis: Hon, may problema tayo. Nalunok ni bunso yung ginagamit kong lapis.

Mister: Madali lang yan, hon. Gamitin mo muna yung bolpen.