TxtBuff » Funny http://www.txtbuff.com Text Messages Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:58:57 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 SMS Quote Text Message #5580 http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/27/sms-quote-text-message-5580/ http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/27/sms-quote-text-message-5580/#comments Fri, 27 Mar 2009 00:54:00 +0000 dirtyoldman http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/27/sms-quote-text-message-5580/
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]]> A man was in a bar looking dejected that a friend walked over and asked what’s wrong..

MAN: (shaking his head) It’s my mother-in-law. I have a real problem with her.

FRIEND: Cheer up! Everyone has problems with his mother-in-law.

MAN: Yeah, but not everybody gets her pregnant.


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]]> Two trucks loaded with thousand copies of Roget’s Thesaurus collided as they left a publishing house yesterday..

Witnesses were STUNNED, STARTLED, AGHAST, TAKEN ABACK, STUPEFIED…


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]]> The Pentagon did a study on why so many American Servicemen marry women in the countries where they’re stationed.

Contrary to popular belief, loneliness has nothing to do with it. Once they are rotated back to the U.S. all their mothers-in-law were thousand of miles away.


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]]> http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/27/sms-quote-text-message-5578/feed/ 0 SMS Quote Text Message #5577 http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/27/sms-quote-text-message-5577/ http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/27/sms-quote-text-message-5577/#comments Fri, 27 Mar 2009 00:51:20 +0000 dirtyoldman http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/27/sms-quote-text-message-5577/
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]]> A mother had been constantly showing her daughter how to do everything. It came to pass the girl got married.

Of course, the mother tagged along on the honeymoon. That night, the daughter was heard to say, ‘But, Mom, I’d rather do it myself!’


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]]> http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/27/sms-quote-text-message-5577/feed/ 0 SMS Quote Text Message #5574 http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/26/sms-quote-text-message-5574/ http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/26/sms-quote-text-message-5574/#comments Thu, 26 Mar 2009 00:38:00 +0000 dirtyoldman http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/26/sms-quote-text-message-5574/
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]]> A woman lives a better, longer, and peaceful life!

Why?

Because a woman does not have a wife!


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]]> A wealthy Indian chief at a hotel asked for a room. The clerk told him all were taken. He agreed to take the penthouse, picked up the register and signed an ‘X’ for his name.

The clerk asked him if he would like a little woman with his room. He said, ‘Ya, Ya,- and picked up the register again. He erased ‘X’ and put down a ‘Y.’

The clerk asked the reasm for the signature change. ‘Never use a right name with little woman in room’, he said.


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]]> BREAKING NEWS:

The Vatican has decided today that it is not a sin to kiss a nun, just don’t get in the habit.


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]]> Thought For The Day:

Reports showed that intellectuals don’t have much sex. You can use this data as justification for your life of celibacy.


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]]> http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/26/sms-quote-text-message-5571/feed/ 0 SMS Quote Text Message #5570 http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/26/sms-quote-text-message-5570/ http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/26/sms-quote-text-message-5570/#comments Thu, 26 Mar 2009 00:36:10 +0000 dirtyoldman http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/26/sms-quote-text-message-5570/
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]]> Sen. Lito Lapid was shocked by d news dat Lacson msterminded d Dacer twin murders.
Lapid was heard saying, “grabe nman siya! d na naawa sa kambal” :-D


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]]> http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/26/sms-quote-text-message-5570/feed/ 0 SMS Quote Text Message #5566 http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/25/sms-quote-text-message-5566/ http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/25/sms-quote-text-message-5566/#comments Wed, 25 Mar 2009 02:06:20 +0000 dirtyoldman http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/25/sms-quote-text-message-5566/
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]]> ANAK: Inay, meron pong bombay na naghahanap sa inyo.

INAY: Sabihin mo wala ako.

ANAK: Inay, masama raw po ang magsinungaling, sabi ng teacher ko.

INAY: Pwes sabihin mo sa titser mo na siya ang magbayad ng utang ko!


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]]> http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/25/sms-quote-text-message-5566/feed/ 0 SMS Quote Text Message #5565 http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/25/sms-quote-text-message-5565/ http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/25/sms-quote-text-message-5565/#comments Wed, 25 Mar 2009 02:06:10 +0000 dirtyoldman http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/25/sms-quote-text-message-5565/
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]]> A child in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed the offering plates.

When they neared the pew where he sat, he piped up so that everyone could hear, ‘Don’t pay for me Daddy, I am under five.’


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]]> http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/25/sms-quote-text-message-5565/feed/ 0 SMS Quote Text Message #5564 http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/25/sms-quote-text-message-5564/ http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/25/sms-quote-text-message-5564/#comments Wed, 25 Mar 2009 02:05:40 +0000 dirtyoldman http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/25/sms-quote-text-message-5564/
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]]> Lucio Tan,
claims he is really Filipino.
He said he read Rizal’s

“Noli me tangere!”

Asked what it meant in English he said:

“Tax me not!” :-)


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]]> http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/25/sms-quote-text-message-5564/feed/ 0 SMS Quote Text Message #5563 http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/25/sms-quote-text-message-5563/ http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/25/sms-quote-text-message-5563/#comments Wed, 25 Mar 2009 02:05:30 +0000 dirtyoldman http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/25/sms-quote-text-message-5563/
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]]> FLIRT is d way to discover if sm1
is attractd to u as well..

If u flirt & dey dnt flirt back..

Its safe to say
u shud move on..

to ur nxt victim!


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]]> 2 whales playing, using their blowholes capsize a ship. Seeing the crew in the water, one says, “Let’s eat them.” The other answers, “Naah. I only do blowjobs, I don’t eat seamen.”


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]]> Tip for a Long Life:

Huwag isusulat ang name mo sa condolence book pag dumadalaw ka sa patay kasi pagkatapos ng libing, merong raffle kung sino ang isusunod!


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]]> This exchange was overheard between the separated sections of a jail..

A male voice yells over to the female side: ‘I got 12 inches over here you would like to have.’

The female response was, ‘Well, spit it out, it isn’t yours!’


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