Funny Text Messages and Funny SMS Quotes

Turn to our funny text messages, text jokes or funny SMS whether old or new, and let in a little sunshine into your day. Our funny SMS jokes and jokes SMS give a good laugh when you’re down. We got a whole lot of funny jokes here.

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Most liked SMS in Funny Category


Text Message 9478: To be happy with a woman
(9 Facebook likes, 0 comment/s)

"To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot even if you don't understnd her at all."


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Text Message 13008: Alcohol bottles

Category: Funny SMS
Subcategory:
By:
Date: Thu, Jan 10, 2013
Time: 12:28 pm

Alcohol bottles should have cute little fortunes in the bottom like “Nope, happiness wasn’t in this one. Please try again!” :)

Text Message 13007: Difference between disaster and catastrophe

Category: Funny SMS
Subcategory:
By:
Date: Thu, Jan 10, 2013
Time: 12:27 pm

What’s the difference between a DISASTER and a CATASTROPHE?
A DISASTER is like a ship carrying 100 corrupt politicians that sinks…
A CATASTROPHE is when you find out that they
can all swim!!!
Hehehe… ;)

Text Message 13002: Dear weather

Category: Funny SMS
Subcategory:
By:
Date: Mon, Jan 7, 2013
Time: 10:41 am

Dear Weather:

Please stop being so romantic.. We don’t have girlfriends, we have WIVES!

Sincerely,

HUSBANDS :D

Text Message 13001: Makes you

Category: Funny SMS
Subcategory:
By:
Date: Mon, Jan 7, 2013
Time: 10:41 am

Pain makes you stronger..

Tears makes you braver..

Headaches makes you wiser..

And Vodka makes you not remember any of that crap. :)

Text Message 12998: Diver sees a guy with no scuba gear

Category: Funny SMS
Subcategory: Conversations SMS
By:
Date: Mon, Jan 7, 2013
Time: 10:38 am

A diver is 50 feet below sea level sees a guy with no scuba gear. He goes down another 30 feet and the guy stays with him.

He takes out a water-proof chalkboard and writes, “What are doing, buddy?”

The guy writes back, “Drowning, you idiot!”

Text Message 12995: When we get married

Category: Funny SMS
Subcategory: Conversations SMS
By:
Date: Sun, Jan 6, 2013
Time: 5:34 pm

Girlfriend: When we get married I want to share all your worries, problems and lighten your burden.

Boyfriend: It’s very good darling, But I don’t have any worries or troubles.

Girl: Well, that’s because we aren’t married yet!:*

Text Message 12986: Boss to secretary

Category: Funny SMS
Subcategory:
By:
Date: Sat, Jan 5, 2013
Time: 11:55 am

Boss to secretary..

Who told you that just bcoz i took you out to dinner & kissed you a few times, you could neglect your work here & loaf around all day long?

My lawyer!

Text Message 12985: Resolutions Gym

Category: Funny SMS
Subcategory:
By:
Date: Sat, Jan 5, 2013
Time: 11:54 am

Guy opened a gym named “RESOLUTIONS.” It will have exercise equipments for the first two weeks and then turn into a bar for the rest of the year.

Text Message 12978: What time does the library open?

Category: Funny SMS
Subcategory: Conversations SMS
By:
Date: Thu, Jan 3, 2013
Time: 1:31 pm

“What time does the library open?” the man on the phone asked.

“9 am,” came the reply. “And what’s the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?” the librarian adds.

“Not until 9 am?” the man asked in a disappointed voice.

“Why do you want to get in before 9am?”

“Who said I wanted to get in? I want to get out!”

Text Message 12977: What is the shape of the Earth?

Category: Funny SMS
Subcategory: Conversations SMS
By:
Date: Wed, Jan 2, 2013
Time: 5:08 pm

Teacher: What is the shape of the earth?
Student: I don’t know.
Teacher: Well, what kind of earrings does your mother wear?
Student: square ones..
Teacher: No, the ones she wears on Sundays..
Student: Round..
Teacher: .. Then what is the shape of the earth?
Student: Square on weekdays and Round on Sundays!