The average person tells 4 lies a day or 1460 a year; a total of 87,600 by the age of 60. And the most common lie is:
“I have read and agree with the terms and conditions.”
Text Message 12814: Why did God gave women periods?
Category: Funny SMS
Subcategory: Conversations SMS
By: dirtyoldman
Date: Mon, Nov 19, 2012
Time: 12:51 pm
Subcategory: Conversations SMS
By: dirtyoldman
Date: Mon, Nov 19, 2012
Time: 12:51 pm
Girl: Why did God gave women periods with cramps and men nothing?
Boy: That’s silly! He gave us women!
Text Message 12813: That was the deal
A man gave his wife a diamond necklace as a gift for their wedding anniversary & his wife didn’t speak to him for 3 months!
Was it fake?
No, that was the Deal.
Text Message 12812: I’m getting you a new car
Category: Funny SMS
Subcategory: Conversations SMS
By: dirtyoldman
Date: Mon, Nov 19, 2012
Time: 12:50 pm
Subcategory: Conversations SMS
By: dirtyoldman
Date: Mon, Nov 19, 2012
Time: 12:50 pm
Husband texted his wife, “Hi babe. I will be late. Pls try & wash my dirty clothes & don’t forget to prepare my favorite dish.”
He sent another text, “I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in salary next month & I’m getting you a new car.”
“OMG really?” wife replied.
He texted back, “No! I just wanted to make sure that you got my first SMS.”
Text Message 12811: Easy to get a divorce
Category: Funny SMS
Subcategory: Conversations SMS
By: dirtyoldman
Date: Mon, Nov 19, 2012
Time: 12:50 pm
Subcategory: Conversations SMS
By: dirtyoldman
Date: Mon, Nov 19, 2012
Time: 12:50 pm
Sam: You know what, it’s really easy to get a divorce in the Middle East. A man just says, “I divorce you” to his wife 3 times and it’s done.
Jack: It’s much easier in the U. S. All a man has to say is “Yeah, that dress makes you fat” once.
Text Message 12804: I’m scared that it’s closed
Claustrophobia is fear of closed spaces.
For example: I am going to the liquor store and I’m scared that it’s closed.
Text Message 12766: Three friends going to 100th floor
3 FRIENDS going to their room at the 100th floor of building and the elevator was not working.
They start to walk in steps.
FIRST FRIEND told an action story up to 50th floor.
SECOND FRIEND told a comedy story up to 99th floor.
THIRD FRIEND told 1 sentence which brought tears in their eyes.
“I forgot the ROOM KEY in the CAR.”
hahaha! :D
Text Message 12759: Ask the blind man
Ladies & gents, hobos & tramps, bug-eyed mosquitoes & bowlegged ants! I’m going to tell you a story you’ve never heard before, so pull up a chair & sit on the floor. Admission is free, so pay at the door.
One fine day, in the middle of the night, 2 dead boys got up to fight. Back to back, they faced each other, drew their swords & shot each other. A deaf cop heard the shot & saved the lives of the 2 dead boys.
If you don’t believe my lies are true, ask the blind man, he saw it too.
Text Message 12747: I will cut this woman in half
“… And now for my next trick, I will cut this woman in half” a magician said during his show.
Remarked a guy in the audience, “You’re just turning One problem into TWO.”:-P
Text Message 12746: Get married on-line
Pretty soon young people will be able to get married on-line. Instead of saying “I DO,” you will have to click “I AGREE TO THESE TERMS AND CONDITIONS.”
