A prominent young lawyer found himself at the Pearly Gate one morning. When he saw St. Peter he protested that at age 35 his untimely death must be a mistake.
St. Peter agreed that 35 seem to be a bit young and promished to check the records.
When St. Peter got back, he told the lawyer, “The mistake seems to be yours, son. We verified your age on the basis of the hours you billed clients and you’re at least 107 years old.”
The doctor wrote a prescription for a patient in his usual illegible writing.
Everyday, the patient showed it at the railway counter for a free pass.
Many times, it got him free movies passes and once into an philharmonic orchestra hall.
He got a raise at work by showing it as a note as a note from the boss.
One day he mislaid it. His daughter picked it up, played it on the piano, and won a scholarship to a conservatory of music..
That’s the magic of a doctor’s handwriting. :D
An old man is stopped by the police at 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of the night.
Old man replies, “I’m on my way to a lecture on alcohol abuse and its ill effects as well as smoking and staying out late.”
The officer then asks, “Really? Who’s giving that lecture at this time of the night?”
Old man replies, “That would be my wife.”
Sitting in a bar having drinks, a man pointed to a friend two old drunks sitting across the bar from them and said, “That’s us in ten years.”
The friend replied, “That’s a mirror, buddy!”
What’s the difference between a DISASTER and a CATASTROPHE?
A DISASTER is like a ship carrying 100 corrupt politicians that sinks…
A CATASTROPHE is when you find out that they
can all swim!!!