Adult SMS Quotes and Text Messages

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Top Rated Text Message in Adult Category

SMS Quote | Text Message #186
1 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 51 vote, average: 5.00 out of 5 (1 votes)

Friends lift u up when ur down.But a lover lifts u up... And down...Up & down...Oooh! Up...Aaah!And down! Anu ngaun ang mas masarap? May lover o may friend?Ü

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Text Message #6620: Penguin for $5

Date: Fri, Sep 18, 2009
Time: 8:04 am
Sent by: dirtyoldman
Category: Adult

Guy had only $5 for sex.
Prostitute: “I can only give you a ‘PENGUIN’.”
She pulls down his pants & gives him a blow job. Just as he was about to come, she stops & walks away.
Guy, with his pants at his ankle, waddles after her shouting:
“Hey, what’s a ‘PENGUIN’?”

Text Message #6608: Urinate to keep kidneys healthy

Date: Thu, Sep 17, 2009
Time: 10:00 am
Sent by: dirtyoldman
Category: Adult

REMEMBER , we have only
1 LIFE – live it well;
1 HEART – take good care of it;
1 SOUL – keep it clean & pre; &
1 SEX ORGAN – USE IT 0FTEN!

Lyk urinate more to keep kidneys healthy! Wahahaha…

Text Message #6607: Different sounds of women’s urine

Date: Thu, Sep 17, 2009
Time: 9:59 am
Sent by: dirtyoldman
Category: Adult

Different sounds of women’s urine:

SINGLE: i wisssssss x3

WIDOW: i misssssss x3

SPINSTER: plisssssss x3

MARRIED: alwaysssss x3

SEPARATED: bwisssssst x3

Text Message #6604: Turn on the heat

Date: Thu, Sep 17, 2009
Time: 8:23 am
Sent by: dirtyoldman
Category: Adult

A college had a standing rule that the dorm heaters were not to be turned on prior to a certain date.

There was a year winter reared its ugly head early. Both male and female students complained but were told nothing can be done.

The ladies went to the rescue. They turned a bed sheet into a banner with the message,

“TURN ON THE HEAT OR WE’LL TURN ON THE BOYS!” :-P

Text Message #6602: The size of her BRA

Date: Thu, Sep 17, 2009
Time: 8:20 am
Sent by: dirtyoldman
Category: Adult

Personality of a female follow the size of her BRA…

30 = Innocent
32 = Calm
34 = Defensive
36 = Sexy
38 = Hot
40 = Aggressive
42 = Beyond Control