TxtBuff » Adult http://www.txtbuff.com Text Messages Fri, 20 Nov 2009 17:58:57 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 SMS Quote Text Message #5580 http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/27/sms-quote-text-message-5580/ http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/27/sms-quote-text-message-5580/#comments Fri, 27 Mar 2009 00:54:00 +0000 dirtyoldman http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/27/sms-quote-text-message-5580/
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]]> A man was in a bar looking dejected that a friend walked over and asked what’s wrong..

MAN: (shaking his head) It’s my mother-in-law. I have a real problem with her.

FRIEND: Cheer up! Everyone has problems with his mother-in-law.

MAN: Yeah, but not everybody gets her pregnant.


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]]> A mother had been constantly showing her daughter how to do everything. It came to pass the girl got married.

Of course, the mother tagged along on the honeymoon. That night, the daughter was heard to say, ‘But, Mom, I’d rather do it myself!’


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]]> http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/27/sms-quote-text-message-5577/feed/ 0 SMS Quote Text Message #5573 http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/26/sms-quote-text-message-5573/ http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/26/sms-quote-text-message-5573/#comments Thu, 26 Mar 2009 00:37:20 +0000 dirtyoldman http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/26/sms-quote-text-message-5573/
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]]> A wealthy Indian chief at a hotel asked for a room. The clerk told him all were taken. He agreed to take the penthouse, picked up the register and signed an ‘X’ for his name.

The clerk asked him if he would like a little woman with his room. He said, ‘Ya, Ya,- and picked up the register again. He erased ‘X’ and put down a ‘Y.’

The clerk asked the reasm for the signature change. ‘Never use a right name with little woman in room’, he said.


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]]> Thought For The Day:

Reports showed that intellectuals don’t have much sex. You can use this data as justification for your life of celibacy.


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]]> 2 whales playing, using their blowholes capsize a ship. Seeing the crew in the water, one says, “Let’s eat them.” The other answers, “Naah. I only do blowjobs, I don’t eat seamen.”


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]]> This exchange was overheard between the separated sections of a jail..

A male voice yells over to the female side: ‘I got 12 inches over here you would like to have.’

The female response was, ‘Well, spit it out, it isn’t yours!’


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]]> HUSBAND: Read that women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast sizes.

WIFE: Oh, yeah? Well, we can diet, have liposuction, exercise, and even get implants for all that. What can a man do about the one area that we all KNOW he feels insecure about?


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]]> http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/23/sms-quote-text-message-5557/feed/ 0 SMS Quote Text Message #5550 http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/20/sms-quote-text-message-5550/ http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/20/sms-quote-text-message-5550/#comments Fri, 20 Mar 2009 01:07:10 +0000 dirtyoldman http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/20/sms-quote-text-message-5550/
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]]> ‘And what was the extent of the defendant’s involvement in this matter?’ the judge asked the woman in a paternity case.

She replies, ‘Oh, about 10 inches.’


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]]> http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/20/sms-quote-text-message-5550/feed/ 0 SMS Quote Text Message #5542 http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/19/sms-quote-text-message-5542/ http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/19/sms-quote-text-message-5542/#comments Thu, 19 Mar 2009 00:50:00 +0000 dirtyoldman http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/19/sms-quote-text-message-5542/
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]]> A guy approaches a prostitute on the street and asks her, ‘how much?’ She replies, ‘2000 bucks if I lay down and 1500 bucks if I stand up.’ He asks what the difference is, and she tells him, ‘it’s my hairdresser’s fee!’


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]]> http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/19/sms-quote-text-message-5542/feed/ 0 SMS Quote Text Message #5541 http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/19/sms-quote-text-message-5541/ http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/19/sms-quote-text-message-5541/#comments Thu, 19 Mar 2009 00:49:00 +0000 dirtyoldman http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/19/sms-quote-text-message-5541/
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]]> ‘Can anyone give me a good contemporary example of the Golden Rule?’ asked an instructor in the ethics class.

I can sir,’ replied a student, ‘how about 69?’


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]]> http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/19/sms-quote-text-message-5541/feed/ 0 SMS Quote Text Message #5513 http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/14/sms-quote-text-message-5513/ http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/14/sms-quote-text-message-5513/#comments Sat, 14 Mar 2009 00:56:30 +0000 dirtyoldman http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/14/sms-quote-text-message-5513/
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]]> Teacher: Pedro, how do u handle ur problems?
Pedro: I dont boobs it ma’am.
Teacher: What do u mean by “you dnt boobs it”
Pedro: Hindi q po dinidibdib ma’am…


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]]> The blondes at a college were tired of not fitting in. So they pressed the school to set up a new department for them and had their way with the Blonde Education Department. The blondes were ecstatic, that they all proudly wear the official sweatshirt of the department which says, ‘I belong in B.E.D.’


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]]> Donald Duck walkd into a drugstore & askd for a packet of condoms.

‘Certainly, sir,’ replied the lady behind the counter, ’shall I put them on your bill?’

‘NO WAY!’ replied Donald Duck, ‘What do you think I am, a Dickhead?!’


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]]> http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/14/sms-quote-text-message-5511/feed/ 0 SMS Quote Text Message #5498 http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/10/sms-quote-text-message-5498/ http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/10/sms-quote-text-message-5498/#comments Tue, 10 Mar 2009 00:30:00 +0000 dirtyoldman http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/10/sms-quote-text-message-5498/
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]]> A man walks n2 Victoria’s Secret to buy a sheer negligee for his wife. He opts for the best & pays $500. He gives it to his wife & asks her to model it for him.

Upstairs, wife had an idea, ‘It’s so sheer that it might as well be nothing. I’ll do the modelling naked, return the sheer & keep the $500 refund for myself.’

She appears naked & strikes a pose for him. Husband says, ‘Good grief! For $500, they should at least iron it.

He never heard the shot.


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]]> http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/10/sms-quote-text-message-5498/feed/ 0 SMS Quote Text Message #5497 http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/10/sms-quote-text-message-5497/ http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/10/sms-quote-text-message-5497/#comments Tue, 10 Mar 2009 00:28:00 +0000 dirtyoldman http://www.txtbuff.com/2009/03/10/sms-quote-text-message-5497/
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]]> bka my kila2 u girl intrsted mgwork s Purefudz!!
I will rcommend, dmi p bnefits, P15k startng pay w/training & free uni4m, plus meal allownce, aftr 3mos.regular n kya my increase salary, tpos health insurnce & retiremnt bnefits, plus 50% off on all purefudz products, Txt mk0 pg my intersd0,
Rquiremnt:College level, aggrssive,
can multi task & can work flexible hours, no height requiremnt
Bstat wlang PANTY
kz ang work nya
“HULMAHAN NG HOTDOG.”


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]]> Sister superior at convent says, ‘I found a pair of men’s undies under my desk!’ 20 nuns gasp, but 1 nun goes, ‘Heh, heh, heh…’

She goes on, ‘And I found a used condom on my desk!’ 20 nuns gasp, but 1 nun goes, ‘Heh, heh, heh….!’

‘And finally there was a huge tear in the condom!’ 1 nun gasps, & the 20 goes, ‘Heh, heh, heh..’


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