ABOGADA:
Holdng d penis of 99-yr.old client) Look ur honor! Luyat ya gayot, pwede pa ba este ele mang rape?
OLDMAN: (whisperng) ‘Torni, no mas tanto pichi pichi, baka perde ta!

wahaha!

Man: I’d really like to get into your pants.

Woman: No thanks. There’s already one asshole in there… :)

Burn the candles,
use the nice sheets.
Don’t save it for
a special occasion.
TODAY is SPECIAL.
May our days be filled with sunshine!

Two women were discussing their auto mechanic. Said one, “I was so worried that he might try to rip me off, but then I was relieved when he told me that all I needed was turn signal FLUID.”

Umaga, mag dyowa may hangover pa kakagising lang galing sa isang night wild party:

BF: Ikaw ba ang ka sex ko sa may garden kagabi?

GF: Mga anong oras?

Licking a pussy
is like playing
with the Mafia..

one wrong move
and you are in
DEEP SHIT!

Gal takes a dress to dry cleaner and asks for it to be cleaned.

The owner is deaf and says, “Cum again?”

She blushes and replies, “No, its YOGURT this time.”

Dr. Mehmet Oz at the
Oprah Show revealed that men & women should have at least 200x sex a year.
For men, organs act like dipsticks to know if everything in their body is working.
Impotency is a symptom of heart disease. So, let us take Dr. Oz advice.