With all the spam we get for penis enlargement pills, you’d think by now someone would have invented a pill to shrink vaginas instead.

A football team loses their star player, Roger Dicks, due to an injury.

Next day, a headline read: “TEAM TO PLAY W/O DICKS.”

The team manager call up the paper’s editor to protest. So the editor changes the headline next day to “TEAM TO PLAY WITH DICKS OUT!”

Wife screams from bedroom & hubby runs in. He sees a guy leap out of window.

MRS: That guy just fucked me twice!

MR: twice?
Why didn’t you call me the 1st time?

MRS: I thought it was you ’til he started the 2nd round!

Grammar is important. Capital letters are the difference between “helping your Uncle Jack off a horse” and “helping your uncle jack off a horse.”

1 inch – are u fucking joking?
2 inch – i can’t hold it properly
3 inch – never been so unsatisfied in my life
4 inch – i’ve had bigger
5 inch – good but not enough!
6 inch – just right
7 inch – can’t complain
8 inch – fucking perfect
9 inch – a bit much
10 inch – its hurting my insides
11 inch – i can’t take it anymore
12 inch – i’m fucking destroyed..

Foregoing are different reviews of SUBWAY sandwiches:-D wag dumi isip!:-P

An American, an Arab and a Chinese were marooned on a deserted island.
0ne day, a sexy woman in red, white and blue clothes swam exhausted to shore.
The American yelled, “the US flag. She’s mine!” and tore off her clothes, revealing her red panties.
The Chinese exclaimed, “the red
flag of China, she’s mine!” and tore off her panties.
The Arab exulted, “the beard of the prophet and the smell of Nile fish. Now, that makes her mine!”…;-)

Young guy complaining to his boss about problems he has with stubborn girlfriend, “I get so angry I could hit her.”

“Well, I’ll tell you what I used to do with my wife,” replied the boss, “Whenever she got out of hand, I’d get her pants down and spank her.”

Shaking his head, the young guy said, “I tried that it doesn’t work. Once I get her pants down, I’m not mad anymore.”

Two guys at a bar. One of them looks to the other & says, “I had the best time last night. I had sex with twins!” The other asks, “How could you tell them apart?”

“Well, Jessica had a long beautiful black hair & Alex had a goatee.”

At “Who wants to be a millionaire” quiz show.

TITO: For P250,000, what is the color of your wife’s underwear?
A) White
B) Red
C) Black
D) Blue

Pedro: Can I phone my kumpare?

Wife called up her husband. She whispered, “When you get home I’m going naked in bed.”

“The kids are staying at their friends’ house tonight?” he asked.

“They are,” she giggled.

“Great,” he replied, “I’ll sleep in their room!”