TxtBuff » Brand Names

Text Message #6582: What’s wrong with Vaseline?

dirtyoldman — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 00:57:11 +0000

2 gays were looking at a travel brochure.

One of them said, “Let’s try Greece this year!”

The other replied, “Why? What’s wrong with Vaseline?”

Text Message #6551: Wi Fi, Apple pie at taro pie

dirtyoldman — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 01:13:06 +0000

Sa McDO…

Customer: Mayroon ba kayong Wi Fi dito?

Crew: Wala po. Apple pie at taro pie lang po.

Text Message #6541: KY Jelly renamed to Y2K Jelly

dirtyoldman — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 01:42:47 +0000

PRESS RELEASE:

The manufacturers of KY JELLY have announced that their product is now ISO-9001 certified. In the light of this they now renamed it as “Y2KY JELLY.”

Said a spokesperson: “The main benefit of this revision to our product, is that you can now insert four digits into your date instead of two.”:-P

Text Message #6455: BDO, we find ways

dirtyoldman — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 01:17:33 +0000

Misis at Kabet, nagdate:
M: Hon… Anu name ko sa phonebook mo?
K: Mcdo. Kasi love ko to!
M: Ang sweet… Ikaw nman BDO.
K: Bakit?
M: Kasi we find ways.:-D

SMS Quote Text Message #6303

dirtyoldman — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 01:10:29 +0000

May isang ig0r0t pumunta ng bar may narinig sya sa kabilang table.

Waiter paorder ng 3 kabayo,
binigyan sya ng REDHORSE BEER.

May narinig ulit syasa kabilang table Waiter paorder ng 3 agila.
binigyan sya ng GOLD EAGLE BEER.

Napaisip ang ig0r0t ano kaya ang sa akin.?
ah,alam ko na!
Waiter paorder ng 3 pato!

Binigyan sya ng 3 silver swan. Ininom nya sabay sabing-Wow! SaGad sA BuTo aNg aLaT Ng aLaK NyO… Lakas!

SMS Quote Text Message #6127

icezorg — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 15:36:47 +0000

“TANG na MOO

Joint venture
product of
Tang & Moo!
Coms in dfernt
flavors lyk
MangoMilk &
Choc0range!

Bili na!
Tang na Moo!

Mppmura ka sa
SARAP!
Tang na Moo!”
Hehe

txtb?17

SMS Quote Text Message #6117

icezorg — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 15:26:56 +0000

If u want 2 remove wrinkles, pimples, face marks, black heads and d 7 signs of aging, try using..

ADOBE PHOTOSHOP!

ms epektib kesa 0lay o Ponds!
Try m0!
Instant and visible results can be seen in just 1 click!

Mag AD0BE PH0T0SH0P na!

Hahaha. Adik s PC.

txtb?17

SMS Quote Text Message #5842

dirtyoldman — Sat, 02 May 2009 01:00:51 +0000

Tower: PAL 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7

PAL: Tower, PAL 702 switching to Departure… by the way, as we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.

Tower: Cebu Pacific 635, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on 124.7… did you copy the report from PAL?

CEBU PACIFIC: Switching to departure… and yes, we copied PAL and we’ve already notified our caterers.

SMS Quote Text Message #5785

dirtyoldman — Fri, 24 Apr 2009 00:42:20 +0000

Pulubi1: Pssst, pare pautang naman ng rugby o. Bayaran kita pag marami akong nakuhang limos.

Pulubi2: Sensya na pare, nagbagong buhay na ako. Solmux na ang sinisinghot ko ngayon!

SMS Quote Text Message #5697

dirtyoldman — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 01:55:20 +0000

Be prepared! With PLDT’s acquisition of a ten per cent stake in MERALCO..

whether you like it or not, malapit nang maging PREPAID ang kuryente! hahaha…

SMS Quote Text Message #5477

dirtyoldman — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 00:28:20 +0000

Isang gbi, isang lolo ang humtak sa isang ba2e sa tlahibn.

Babae: lolo, kht mhubran nyo aq, d nyo q kyang ghasain dhl alam qng su2mp0ng lng ryuma ny0..

Lolo: watch me! Nagflanax yata aq!Haha

hayup n lolo yn.

SMS Quote Text Message #5465

icezorg — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 11:38:00 +0000

GOD
has
no
celpon,
but
HE is SMART
&
HE owns
the GLOBE
& SUN.

U cn kol
HIM evn
f u
dnt hv LOAD.
But
rmember,
No TXT,
only TALK.
Dnt 4get
2 kol HIM
its FREE.

txtb?13

SMS Quote Text Message #5418

dirtyoldman — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 00:49:20 +0000

A teacher was doing a study of testing the sense of taste of 1st-graders using a bowl of Lifesavers. The pupils began to identify the flavors by their colors: Red.. Cherry, Yellow.. Lemon, etc.

Lastly, teacher gave them HONEY Lifesavers, none of the pupils could identify taste so she gave them a clue, ‘It’s what ur mother sometimes call ur father.’

One of the pupils looked up in horror, spit her Lifesaver and yelled, ‘Oh my God! They’re assholes!’

SMS Quote Text Message #5386

dirtyoldman — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 00:35:20 +0000

TRIVIA:

Bakit karamihan ng fastfood restos kulay pula at yellow ang paint?

McDo
jollibee
Max’s
Chowking
Goldilocks
Mr. Donut
Burger King

Because the colors red and yellow are good stimuli for the appetite…

ah kaya pala gan0n ang kulay ng…

SOGO…:-o

Text Message #5316

dirtyoldman — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 00:43:03 +0000

BOY: pare, may sapatos ako, kaso ndi ko alam yn pngalan.
TOTOY: ano b tatak nun?
BOY: bsta may check sha e.
TOTOY: bobo mo nmn! yn lng ndi mo p alam? e di..

check taylor by converse!;p

Text Message #5279

dirtyoldman — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 00:41:44 +0000

A dad went to a ToyShop for his daughter’s bday.
“How much for one of those Barbie dolls?”
Sales girl asks “Which do u want sir? We hav several. Barbie Workingout, Shopper, Beach, Disco, Ballerina, Astronaut, Skater Barbie, all for $20 & Divorced Barbie for $180.
Dad asks “why is divorced Barbie $180 & others only $20?”
The lady rolls her eyes & said: “Sir, Divorced Barbie comes wit Ken’s Car, House, Boat, Furniture, Laptop & 1 of Ken’s friends.