A 78 year old woman goes to a doctor and gripes that her 84 year old husband doesn’t have any sex drive and doesn’t want to take any pills. The doc gave her a pill and tells her to put it in his coffee.
A week later she returns to the doc who asked her how it went. “He ripped off my clothes, threw me to the table and made mad passionate love to me.”
“Well, why are you so unhappy?”
“We can never go back to McDonalds again.”
A wife was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast wearing a T-shirt she normally slept in. As her husband walked in, she said softly, “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment.”
The husband thought to himself “this is going to be my lucky day,” so he embraced her & gave his all on the kitchen table.
Afterwards, she said, “Thanks,” & returned to the stove, her shirt still around her neck.
Puzzled, he asked her what was it all about. She explained, “The egg timer is broken.”