2 girls were naked and talking.

Girl1: Why don’t you have hair on ur pussy?

Girl2: have u ever seen grass growing on a busy road..?

IDIOTS’ GUIDE TO SEX

1. Intercourse doesn’t happen on a highway.
2. If you engage in oral sex first, it’s not called a head start.
3. You can lie down during a one-night stand.
4. If she says she’s into bondage, don’t show her your bond investment portfolio.

Words of Wisdom:

Population explosion is a mounting problem..

The more you MOUNT, the MORE the EXPLOSION!

There are 10 very important men in a woman’s life..

Her Doctor who says, ‘take off your clothes.’
Her Dentist who says, ‘open wide.’
Her Vet who says, ‘and how is ur little pussy doing today?’
Her Gardener who says, ‘do you want me to mulch ur bush?’
Her Hairdresser who says, ‘do you want it teased or blown?’
Her Interior Decorator who says, ‘You’l like it when it’s in.’
Her Hunter who goes deep into the bush, shoots several times, and always eats what he shoots

“I know what Victoria’s

Secret is!

The secret is that nobody

older than 30 can fit into

their stuff.”

Q & A

Q: What do you call a man who cries while masturbating?
A: A tearjerker.

Q: What’s the difference between Medium and Rare?
A: 6 inches is Medium, 8 inches is Rare.

Q: How can you tell if you eat pussy well?
A: You wake up in the morning with a face like glazed donut and a beard like an unwashed paintbrush.

Q: What proof do we have that prostitution is recession-proof?
A: Everyone knows that hookers thrive on HARD times.

A husband was perusing a sex manual and his wife asked him why. He replied that he was tired of being in the same old rut.

‘But I don’t understand,’ she protested, ‘I thought we had a very good sex life.’

‘Well,’ replied the husband, ‘let me put it to ya another way!’

TANONG: Kailan mahirap matulog?

SAGOT: Kapag masarap ang katabi.

TANONG: Kailan mahirap gumising?

SAGOT: Kapag pagod ka kagabi!

Hehehe!