On an overcrowded bus..
LADY: your THING is touching my bums.
MAN: Sorry, it’s my salary in my pocket.
LADY: I’ve felt that your salary increased 5 times during the last 10 minutes!
Nay, totoo ba ang sbi ni teacher na ang baby ay galing sa STORK, isang mlaking ibon? NANAY: Ewan ko sa titser mo anak, basta ikaw galing ka sa maliit na BIRD. xandra
Two wives go out for girls night. Both got drunk, started walking home and had to pee. They stopped at a cemetery but had nothing to wipe with. One used her panties, the other grabbed a wreath off a grave.
The next morning, one husband called the other and said, “No more girls night out! My wife came back with no panties.”
The other husband said, “You think that’s bad. Mine came back with a card in her crack that read, ‘from all of us at the fire station.. we’ll never forget you!”
Two old men are sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, “The most beautiful thing on earth is to still make love.”
“Maybe for you,” the other replies in a quavering voice. “But for me it’s Christmas, because it happens more often.”
“Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free?”
Here’s an update for you.
Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage…:*
A football team loses their star player, Roger Dicks, due to an injury.
Next day, a headline read: “TEAM TO PLAY W/O DICKS.”
The team manager call up the paper’s editor to protest. So the editor changes the headline next day to “TEAM TO PLAY WITH DICKS OUT!”
Wife screams from bedroom & hubby runs in. He sees a guy leap out of window.
MRS: That guy just fucked me twice!
Why didn’t you call me the 1st time?
MRS: I thought it was you ’til he started the 2nd round!