Wife screams from bedroom & hubby runs in. He sees a guy leap out of window.
MRS: That guy just fucked me twice!
MR: twice?
Why didn’t you call me the 1st time?
MRS: I thought it was you ’til he started the 2nd round!
Text Message 12809: A guy leaped out of window
Text Message 12808: Serendipity
SERENDIPITY..
the effect by which one accidentally stumbles upon something truly wonderful, especially while looking for something entirely unrelated.
Let it find you.
Stay happy. Good Morning!
Text Message 12805: Hinulog mo na lahat ng tinidor
yung hinulog mo na lahat ng tinidor niyo
wala pa rin dumadating na lalake sa buhay mo! :D
Text Message 12804: I’m scared that it’s closed
Claustrophobia is fear of closed spaces.
For example: I am going to the liquor store and I’m scared that it’s closed.
Text Message 12803: Ang life parang holidays
Ang life parang HOLIDAYS..
Pag may pera ka, PASKO..
Pag malungkot ka, SEMANA SANTA..
Pag in love ka, VALENTINES..
Pag maingay ka, NEW YEAR..
Try mo tumingin sa salamin..
Oh, diba..
HALLOWEEN. joke, joke, joke.
Text Message 12802: You’ll be sleeping with the President
Night before the election, Mitt Romney was very confident &
told his wife, Anne, “This time tomorrow night, you’ll be
sleeping with the President of
the United States.”
After Mitt’s concede speech,
they head to bed. Ann was
getting undressed when she asked, “So how does this work?
Is Barack coming over here or
am I supposed to go over there?”
Text Message 12801: You are not here to save the world
You are not here to save the world,
but you are here to touch the hands that are within your reach.
Be Blessed!
Text Message 12798: The last time I spoke to a Bush
Ex U. S. President George “W” Bush was at an airport when he saw an old man in a long white robe, with a long white beard and hair, and carrying two stone tablets in his arms. He approached the man and asked, “Aren’t you Moses?”
But the man kept silent and continued walking. W asked again and the old man ignored him. W grabs the man’s arms and asks “Aren’t you Moses? Answer me!”
The man replies, “I’m not saying anything. The last time I spoke to a Bush I ended up roaming the desert for 40 years!”
Text Message 12797: Stop giving away your power
Stop giving away your power to fear and worry. Face what you fear, take away the unknown and regain the power that you’ve lost to worry.
Have a fearless life.
Text Message 12796: He is with you
There will be days when it takes all the strength we have within us to hold it together.
On those days…
Believe in the promise of tomorrow and know you are not alone, He is with you.
Happy weekend!
